I had a crazy dream last night, I woke up feeling like I failed getting married. Not the marriage part, like the whole life together forever and ever etc., but the event before the marriage (a.k.a. the wedding). It was a travesty!
Let me just give you a run down of the atrocious event. It was like I woke up and it was my wedding day. OUT OF NO WHERE!
- My dress was wrinkled, and I hadn’t had it sized, and then suddenly it was also black
- I must have forgotten how to do my makeup because my face was pasty white almost like a Geisha lady only without the painted lips and cheeks, and Mrs. Jones (not my future mother-in-law) had to color my features in as I was heading to the aisle. Unfortunately nothing could be done about my hair.
- People were arriving late and parking in the yard don’t ask me where this event was taking place because I didn’t know where I was because apparently I forgot to mail the invitations so people had to rely on word of mouth for directions.
- I didn’t even know who was marrying us, did we have a friend get ordained? Did we find a preacher we both liked?
- I certainly hadn’t written my vows but also didn’t know if that’s what we were doing or not, I told myself I was good on the spot but IT WAS MY WEDDING WHY HADN’T I JOTTED DOWN SOME NOTES?!?!
- I told myself it wasn’t about the wedding, it’s about the marriage, our life together, Markus would love me even if my dress was too big, baggy and black and I sounded like I hadn’t fully prepared my vows…no matter what I told myself though, I couldn’t help but feel like I failed my wedding! Me, the planner!
It was awful I tell you, and those are only the parts of the dream I can remember! There was more only it’s all a fog now. Oh wait…at one point, as I was trying to get to my wedding because clearly in this dream I was running late even though I didn’t know it was my wedding day and I was at the top of a barn, only it was like 100 feet high. I was trying to take a photo of the sunset, it was getting dark and I had to climb down a ladder but the ladder wasn’t a normal ladder there was a trick to it and I thought I was going to fall. Then I woke up and fell right back in to being at the “surprise” wedding. Glad I remembered that little scenario from the dream, aren’t you?
I am sure this crazy that-would-never-happen dream is due to my recent life changes. Primarily moving to Massachusetts and constantly remembering I have a wedding to plan from a distance.
It usually goes something like this:
I love my new job!
Oh sugar, I have a wedding to plan from a distance.
Ooh, Go Berry! Let’s have one, it’s fat free!
Firecracker! I have a wedding to plan from a distance!
“Maybe Sunday we can ride our bikes on the trail to some swimming holes I hear about at work and take a picnic in our new picnic-ice-chest-thing, you know, the one I registered for and your mom gave us at the shower?”
Shower? Hells bells I have a wedding to plan from a distance!
I know I’m not the only bride to make a huge life change six months before her wedding, I’m not asking for sympathy, but I have to say there are things you have to think extra creatively about.
Take the dress, for example. I have it, DONE! It’s in the “wedding closet” at my house in MS where my sister and brother-in-law are currently living. Initially the plan was to go home for Thanksgiving and have it sized then, as it’s just about six weeks prior to the big day. Well, now I’m not sure with the holiday and Markus’ women-are-invited-too bachelor party that his best man his dadis throwing him the Friday of turkey day weekend that I’ll find a place to fit me in my dress!
“Why don’t you just get it sized in Northampton or nearby?”
Yes, I do realize tailors live in all states. But if I go that route I have to have it mailed up here, get it sized, and then carry it home for the wedding, and find a place to get the wrinkles out did you already forget the dream recap above about my wrinkled dress problem?!
Sometimes I think if we just got married in secret and then threw a big party I wouldn’t be having nightmares about the big day. And that was only my first! As much as I don’t mind the spotlight, it’s different when you’re PLANNING to be in the spotlight. I’m better impromptu-like but I promise if we write our own vows I will think about them prior to the day-of.
Other things I think about planning this wedding from 1500 miles away I’m not really sure how far it is but it took my folks three full 10 hour days hauling a trailer to get up here are:
- To what address should the RSVPs be sent to? My mailbox up here? My house in MS and I’ll get my sister maid-of-honor to keep up with them? I’m a control freak, that won’t work.
- When will I have a bachelorette party? We may not come home for Christmas since the wedding is so soon after that so it might not happen then…I guess I’ll have to fly home for a weekend? Do I have to have one?
- Wait a minute…so will we get a hotel room for the time we’re in town pre-wedding since family lives in my house? Or will we stay with them?
- How’m I going to taste/try wedding cake flavors?
- Will we fly from MS to our honeymoon and then back to MS and then up here or go from our honeymoon to home (home=MA right now) and if the latter what will we do with all our stuff?
What am I worrying about? We don’t even have our guest list finalized yet .
It’s a good thing Mrs. Jones isn’t only a friend in my dream who fixes my makeup the day of my atrocious wedding. She’s actually a real live friend, folks who has planned many-a-wedding-before-including-her-own, take a breath and boy-oh-boy am I happy to have her! For many other reasons than her wedding planning skills, obviously, I’m not a user! She’s also a fantastic blogger, wife, mother to her two weenie-dogs and clean-eater, most-of-the-time. One time she said to me, “we are just so opposite sometimes I wonder how we’re even friends!” That’s the kind of friendship we have, true, honest, never boring.
Mrs. Jones is also the one who got me connected to the MS Women’s Blogger’s page, you can thank her personally if you like.
Now, I’m off to get my hair cut for $10 at the beauty school up the street! Cheese and rice, I have a wedding to plan from a distance!